We have just discovered the identity of the killer of Cecil the lion. His details are as follows:

WALTER JAMES PALMER

Passport no: 445469954

Address: 11413 Larding Road,

Eden Prairie

MN 55347

This would suggest that he is American and not Spanish as we previously stated.

On or about the 6th July 2013, Walter James Palmer was taken to Hwange National Park by professional hunter Theo Bronkhorst. They went hunting at night with a spotlight and they spotted Cecil. They tied a dead animal to their vehicle to lure Cecil out of the park and they scented an area about half a kilometre from the park. Mr Palmer shot Cecil with a bow and arrow but this shot didn’t kill him. They tracked him down and found him 40 hours later when they shot him with a gun. They found that he was fitted with a GPS collar because he was being studied by the Hwange Lion Research, funded by Oxford University so they tried to destroy the collar but failed because it was found.

Cecil was skinned and beheaded. We don’t know the whereabouts of the head. Walter Palmer apparently paid USD50 000 for the kill and we assume Theo Bronkhorst received this money. Cecil, who was known all over the world would have earned millions of dollars just from sightseeing. There was apparently no quota or licence for a lion to be killed in this area.

The saddest part of all is that now that Cecil is dead, the next lion in the heirarchy, Jericho will most likely kill all Cecil’s cubs so that he can insert his own bloodline into the females. This is standard procedure for lions.